This one time I tripped
This one time I split my forehead open
This one time a dark wizard tried to kill me when I was a infant but couldn’t
(Source: birdsorthebeez, via dreamingwithahappyending)
Jennifer and I, the moment we met each other, there was this friendship that was unparalleled to any actor I’ve ever met before.
(Source: stallisons, via dreamingwithahappyending)
can you paint with all the colors of the wind
alright picasso calm down
(Source: yzma, via luckylivelyvee)
I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.
i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god
I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.
I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?